Writing 101s blog

*All questions were asked in an intentionally leading way , and students will only be mentioned by initial to protect their safety and opinions*

R- (Neutral) Was overall OK with a gaming club here at Pima so long as its primary focus is social. Gaming is fun.

D- (hostile) Overall pro gaming. D was against state funded gaming, that would be the primary funding for a Pima gaming group.

N- (Pro) N loved gaming, and espiecially agreed with the idea of a college operated and run gaming group.

Jeremy Greenfield

Janel Spencer

Writing 101S

10/19/19

Living with the Hand You Were Dealt

I was born with Amniotic Banding Syndrome, (ABS) a birth defect that left my hands and feet missing phalanges. I am lucky, it could be a lot worse. To summarize, the amniotic bag which held me in the womb ripped. The small strands become like rubber bands, that wrapped around my fingers and toes, cutting off circulation, causing them to fall off, before I was even born. Due to how this works, anything can be wrapped like this. My arm could have been taken, or part of my head. I’m very lucky, and once I learned about it, I never forgot it. Throughout my life I have been told to embrace my differences and to make the most of them, and to not have people feel sorry, a lesson I think all people should learn. 

  I was always bullied in school, so learning how to move on and change my way of thinking was difficult. It seemed I was naturally born a victim. People beat me up when I was a kid. I was different, a freak, and was bullied. Sand thrown in my eyes, punches in the gut, and ostracized from groups. No one liked me because they thought I was a freak and a weirdo, and sadly being ostracized made me into a weird person. 

Being alone as a child, I think we can all agree is a scary thing. It creeps into the fear that I think we all have, especially as children. That we are not good enough, that we are going to be abandoned. It was definitely the case for me. This sadness haunted me and stuck to me even beyond elementary school, even after changing schools during that time. It is like an odor I couldn’t clean off myself, I was a victim. I was to be bullied, kids always could sniff it on me. I was always the butt of any jokes, and the kid no one wanted to socialize with. Unlike many others who have been in my situation, my physical deformation couldn’t be changed as  I grew up. I would not go from being the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. It seemed between the two “facts” of my life, I was stuck. Being bullied because of my hands would mean id take on the persona of a victim, and taking on the persona would encourage more people to do it, causing more people to notice the freak, round and round it would go. A vicious cycle with no way out. 

This is where I made a mistake, one many have tried, but I think is a mistake. I just pretended to be normal, I didn’t let anyone talk about my “condition”. I forced other people to change their perception of me not by their choice, but by force. I became a bully about it. I would scream and yell until they either backed off of me, or did not make fun of me anymore. I  was to put it bluntly no better than the kids who had bullied me before. All this accomplished was isolating me even farther. I lost the few friends I had managed to make, because I was not being true to myself. I wasn’t being who I am suppose to be. A nice, friendly guy who makes people laugh. I was not some angry bully, or some jerk. That’s when I made the first step towards living with me as I am.   

I went to a new high school where no one knew my past, and I could start fresh. After all my years of knowing what people don’t like, I tried being who I knew I was.  I laughed and made jokes at my own expense, making people bond with me. People accepted me because I had accepted me, and allowed everyone to be in on the joke. Even though they laughed, I was no longer the victim, nor was I bullying them into it. Honestly that is why It didn’t feel bad, it was genuine happiness. It also meant I was not isolated anymore. I fully realized my gifts to walk in a room full of strangers, and leave with a room full of friends.  I made friends when I was younger despite my social and physical opposition. I became a class clown, desperate for attention and laughs. I found other people who liked the same stuff I did, and we bonded over it. I learned to be more accepting of the hand I was dealt with in life (pun intended) and move on.

I’ve fully allowed myself to joke, to make friends, and to not allow my deformity to act as a wall between me and others. I now go to school, and despite my own efforts, make friends. At work everyone loves me and likes to spend time with me. It’s all because I accepted myself, and did not force anyone else to change.

paragraph 1: Misinformaiton with black student union

-How much money is being allocated

-salaries

paragraph 2: Buildings being renovated

-when buildings made

-how much disrepair

-The need to be retrofitted

paragraph 3 : Why salaries arent as they seem

-Money is for tutors

-More openings for students in center

-More than just for Blacks.

Paragraph 4: Why it doesn’t segregate

-Mixed all other times

-Anecdotal evidence about extreme politics not existing

-Controversial speakers are no worse than on main campus

paragraph 5: Help African Americans succeed on campus

-Feel alienated without a space.

-Make friends with a place like this

-Hospitality

paragraph 6: Positive assest.

-Maybe it is a crutch

-African americans students feel handicapped

-They need a safe space to be themselves.

Socialism/ communism is not the answer to our problems in America. We as future voters should be informed as to why this is the case, and why our current system works so well.

We should look at examples of countries that have failed or have been in major decline due to their system of government/ economic philosophy. This will allow us to see that no matter how many times it is attempted, or in what variations, it does not work.

Every country that has implemented a system like this has failed. Leaving their masses worse for what has happened. People are impoverished, and without hope, no chance of advancement. 

As the next generation of voters we should be informed of the past and avoid the same pitfalls. We can’t leaver this country worse than we found it, and must try to be a bastion of hope in the world.

If we as Americans/ America  doesn’t act as this safe haven, where anyone can become anything, who will be?

CONCEPT WORD: Happiness

Looks like	A new friend.
Sounds like	People laughing at my jokes.
Smells like	New card pack being cracked open with my friends.
Tastes like	Old school pizza my friends share.
Feels like	A warm drink slithering inside you, warming every sensation.
Reminds me of	All my friends, and the people who like me for me.
Is the opposite of	Isloation, cold, loneliness.
Is	Me.

CONCEPT WORD: Freak

Looks like	Sharp daggers, in a dark room, surrounded by enemies.
Sounds like	A slur, a harsh throng meant to deafen.
Smells like	Blood, dripping from your nose, or salt from tears.
Tastes like	Tears, blood, dirt, and hot sand.
Feels like	Pain running like lightning through you, from one punch to the next.
Reminds me of	Myself as a child, a loner who no one liked.
Is the opposite of	Me now, nothing physically has changed but my attitude has.
Is	Anyone who admits it to themselves, or tries to force others to change, you’ll always be a freak until you accept yourself.

CONCEPT WORD: Anger

Looks like	A wild beast, barely chained by an old rusty pinton on the ground.
Sounds like	Yelling, screaming hitting
Smells like	An old bathroom, in a middle school.
Tastes like	Hot breath, vile in my mouth.
Feels like	A sore throat, a horse voice, a hand hurting.
Reminds me of	Myself when I was younger, fueled by rage for a world I could not control.
Is the opposite of	Me today, anger is a tool mismanaged it can drag you down, but used correctly, and only in times of true need, anger can help you survive.
Is	A force of nature, and a tool.

CONCEPT WORD: FUNNY

Looks like	A smiling face, a humorous grin, or a sigh of disappointment.
Sounds like	A hearty laugh.
Smells like	Barely being able to breathe through your nose.
Tastes like	Air
Feels like	Good time
Reminds me of	All the time i made people laugh
Is the opposite of	Those who want to change others around them, and not themselves.
Is	Me, (i think)

Jeremy Greenfield

Ms. Janel

Writing 101s

10/19/19

Living with the hand you were dealt

I was born with Amniotic Banding Syndrome, (ABS) a birth defect that left my hands and feet missing phalanges. I am lucky, it could be a lot worse. To summarize, the amniotic bag which held me in the womb ripped. The small strands become like rubber bands, that wrapped around my fingers and toes. Cutting off circulation, causing them to fall off, before I was even born. Due to how this works anything can be wrapped like this. My arm could have been taken, or part of my head. I’m very lucky, and once I learned about it, I never forgot it.Throughout my life I have been told to embrace my differences and to make the most of them, to not have people feel sorry, a lesson I think all people should learn. 

  I was always bullied in school so learning how to move on, and change my way of thinking was difficult, It seemed I was naturally born a victim. People beat me up when I was a kid. I was different, a freak, and was bullied. Sand thrown in my eyes, punches in the gut, and ostracized from groups. No one liked me because they thought I was a freak and a weirdo, and sadly being ostracized made me into a weird person. It became difficult to make friends, and I became really good at making friends due to the challenge.I made friends when I was younger despite my social and physical opposition. I became a class clown, desperate for attention and laughs.I found other people who liked the same stuff  I did, and we bonded over it. I learned to be more accepting of the hand I was dealt with in life (Pun intended) and move on.

I went to a new high school where no one knew my past, and I could start fresh. I laughed and made jokes at my own expense, making people bond with me. People accepted me because I had accepted me, and allowed everyone to be in on the joke. I fully realized my gifts to walk in a room full of strangers, and leave with a room full of friends. 

I’ve fully allowed myself to joke, to make friends, and to not allow my deformity to act as a wall between me and others. I now go to school, and despite my own efforts make friends. At work everyone loves me and likes to spend time with me. It’s all because I accepted myself, and did not force anyone else to change.

1. I was born with Amniotic Banding Syndrome, (ABS) a birth defect that left my hands and feet missing phalanges.
   1. Throughout my life I have been told to embrace my differences and to make the most of them, to not have people feel sorry, a lesson I think all people should learn. 
2.  I was always bullied in school so learning how to move on, and change my way of thinking was difficult, It seemed I was naturally born a victim.
   1.  People beat me up
   2. No one liked me because they thought I was a freak and a weirdo, and sadly being ostracized made me into a weird person. 
   3. Became difficult to make friends, and I became really good at making friends due to the challenge.
3. I made friends when I was younger despite my social and physical opposition. 
   1. I became a class clown, desperate for attention and laughs.
   2. I found other people who liked the same stuff  I did, and we bonded over it. 
   3. I learned to be more accepting of the hand  I was dealt with in life (Pun intended) and move on.
4. I went to a new high school where no one knew my past, and I could start fresh. 
   1. I laughed and made jokes at my own expense, making people bond with me. 
   2. People accepted me because I had accepted me, and allowed everyone to be in on the joke. 
   3. I fully realized my gifts to walk in a room full of strangers, and leave with a room full of friends. 
5. I’ve fully allowed myself to joke, to make friends, and to not allow my deformity to act as a wall between me and others. 
   1. I now go to school, and despite my own efforts make friends. 
   2. At work everyone loves me and likes to spend time with me. 
   3. It’s all because I accepted myself, and did not force anyone else to change. 
6. ARGUMENT: One of the most difficult challenges in life is to accept yourself, and that you can’t change the world around you. You can’t change how you were born, or why, only how you choose to perceive  it. Using your struggles and gifts to enhance your life, and to maybe make other people happy. 
7. Main conflicts: A combination of man vs self, and man vs society. Man vs self in the battle to accept myself, and my physical disability and abnormality. Also it is man vs society, as a younger man  I was shunned and became a weird “nerd” and, my fight against that force to rise up and become greater than I was seen. 

1.) Writing about my hands, and how being able to laugh at yourself.

2.) Writing about the suicides in my family and how it affected me.

3.) Writing about my grandpas death, about how family is important.

I have come to believe that no matter how anyone is born, you can accomplish anything, and do not need to force others to see reality as “your reality”

I am standing here today as a man born with a visible deformity, who overcame many problems presented, not by forcing others to accept lies, but by laughing with others and accepting my faults.

I have written essays like this one before. In previous essays of rhetorical analysis i had never considered the audience that was being written to. I learned from the author that it is important to include facts and opinions from differing sources if able. In total about the piece, through analyzing it, I learned how even a “shorter” article can be full of knowledge and argument strategies.

I prepared for my first essay by handwriting all of my basic ideas down first, creating a rather large draft. Then I typed it into my computer and read it aloud to check for any strange grammatical errors or repetition,(done after I completed my first draft), and then had my Nana and uncle read it to check for any errors. I want to get better at making drafts for essay 2/3. I feel I could have benefited from more time to write.

I don’t have any questions left about rhetorical analysis, mostly because, I do not know what to ask to improve my understanding. About the writing process and grammar I simply wish to get better at my silly mistakes I make in my sentences.